Sunday, February 9, 2014

Long Distance and John Green

“Here’s to all the places we went. And all the places we’ll go. And here’s to me, whispering again and again and again and again: I love you.”--John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

The above quote may be typical melodramatic teenage girl of me, and for that I apologize, but I adore it so much.  It is one of many John Green quotes which I carry in my heart.  Read his books.  All of them.  I hope they melt your heart like they melt mine.
I've been in a very John Green mood as of late, likely due to my recent obsession with vlogbrothers and Mental Floss (look them up on YouTube. You won't regret it).  His writing is amazing and as seen in his videos, he is a genuine, intelligent, down to earth guy, which is fantastic to see.  So yeah.  Check him out.  He's amazing.  To my fellow nerdfighters, DFTBA! (just watch the videos)

Okay.  Now that my fangirling is over, let's talk.  As previously discussed, I am a college freshman.  I am dating my high school boyfriend, despite us going to separate colleges.  We see each other about once a month, and while I understand that this might not seem like such a hardship to some, let me tell you something about long distance: it's not easy.  And it never. Gets. Easier.
The Boyfriend is the first guy I've ever dated.  We've been together just under a year, and it's been an amazing ride.  We got together in February of our senior year of high school, and while I did have a few concerns about getting involved with someone so close to college, I decided to go for it.  Throughout the remainder of the school year, people (classmates, family friends, etc.) constantly asked if we would continue the relationship in college.  I never had an answer for those people, but we did end up continuing the relationship, and I am so thankful for the way it's worked out.  Long distance is worth it.
When people found out The Boyfriend and I would be doing long distance, they were all overflowing with advice.  Adults tended to give me the "remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea" line.  My peers thought it was romantic.  My grandma couldn't understand why I'd be willing to be tied to one boy.  My mom seemed to have a little faith in the notion, but reminded me to be open minded.  But in the never ending sea of advice, here's the thing everyone forgets to tell you about long distance: it's so freaking hard.  And it never stops being hard.  It never gets easier to drive away from The Boyfriend after a visit or watch him drive away.  It never gets easier to say goodbye.  I find myself clinging to him, not wanting to let go.
You can text constantly, talking about everything from class to bad puns to music.  You can have a Skype date once a week.  You can talk on the phone as you walk to your dorm from the gym at night.  You can do all these things, but they will never make up for having that person there.  Hearing their laugh through the phone is not the same as seeing them beside you, eyes crinkling and gasping for air as they struggle to gain control of their euphoria.  Talking about a movie is not even close to watching the movie together, feeling the other person's warmth next to you.  Being apart, no matter how hard you try to bridge the gap, will never be the same as having the person there.
If I'm being completely honest, taking a mature perspective on this issue, it's probably a good thing The Boyfriend and I aren't at the same school.  We would spend too much time together, and we would never get anything done.  We are both doing well in school, much better than we would have if we were together and constantly around each other.  But long distance sucks.  That's my not-so-eloquent, blunt conclusion.  Long distance is awful.  Sure, it allows you to explore and define yourself without the other person and see if they still fit you.  It allows you to learn and grow and meet people.  But nothing will ever compare to having that one person who knows you at your core with you.

To finish this post, I have one more John Green quote and the link to the Tedx talk he did.
“You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”

And the video:

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