On Getting Engaged

SIGH.

So.  I'm in this phase of my life where like everyone is getting engaged.  It started slowly, with one couple, then a few months later another, and suddenly, in the last few weeks, three couples I know have gotten engaged.  And so, I say again, SIGH.

I knew this phase was coming.  It's a natural phase of life.  One day, your friends are single and going on dates with different people each weekend.  Then, later, they find someone.  They date awhile.  And suddenly, one day, you wake up and all your friends are engaged.  Well.  I knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would start so soon.  I just finished my first year of undergrad, and in a lot of ways, I still feel really young.  Way too young to get engaged.

The Boyfriend and I have been together for some time now.  We're very happy and we love each other a lot.  But we aren't about to get married.  Have we talked about it?  Sure.  But in the "someday" way, not in the "soon" way.  And I'm happy that way.  I don't want to get engaged.  Not anytime soon.

Because here's the thing I think people forget about getting engaged: it's a precursor to GETTING MARRIED.  And GETTING MARRIED is a huge deal.  Getting engaged is cute.  You get a cute little ring and you get to post cute pictures of you and your new fiancé on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook....everywhere.  You ask your girls to be bridesmaids with cute little gifts.  You pick out a cute dress, plan a cute ceremony.  All that is fun.  Cutesy.  Pretty.  People are congratulating you, practically choking on the cutesy-ness of it all.  But then comes REALITY.  You GET MARRIED.  When you GET MARRIED, you're an adult.  It's a new phase of your life.  You're committed to one person for the rest of your life.  The two of you are a team.  You live life together.  And all that sounds great.  You're forever in love, right?  Yeah.  But it's also a lot of work.  And at least in my mind, all that stuff belongs separate from undergrad.  The two don't go hand-in-hand.  They go in separate boxes.  I can see getting engaged in college.  But GETTING MARRIED while in college?  Slow down.  What's the rush?  I mean, I understand that when you've been together forever you just want to start life with that person.  But calm down.  It's not a race.

For the Graduates

I know there have been a lot of graduations lately, and many to come.  To those of you graduating, whether it be high school, college, grad school, etc., congratulations!

Now, I want to speak to everyone who recently will graduate or has graduate high school.  Here's everything I wish someone had told me (some things will be cliché):

• STAY. IN. THE DORMS.  It's how I made all of my friends in the first year.
• Don't eat unless you're actually hungry.  It'll save you money and you won't get fat.
• Don't be married to your major.  Maybe you'll love the one you came in with, maybe you won't.  Either way, it's okay.  Don't be afraid to switch.
• College is NOT high school.  Classes are much harder, so STUDY.
• College is NOT high school.  It's 812509 times better.  Get excited!
• High school wasn't real life.  This is.  It's fun and amazing and you're finally in charge of your life.  The things you're doing actually matter now.
• Join some organizations that actually matter to you.  It's not worth your time to put energy into stuff you don't care about.
• Get really involved in the organizations you're in.
• Try to make time to sleep.  Your brain, body, and mood WILL thank you.
• That being said, have some fun too.  Watch movies with your floormates.  Get dinner off campus.  Try something new.
• Talk to your roomie.  Like, actually try to get to know them.  Maybe you won't be BFFs, but maybe you will.  Or maybe you guys can just be pals.  Either way, it's better than being strangers.
• But you should also have ground rules with your roomie.  And if you make any offers (such as, "sure, we can share food"), make sure you can stick to them.

Bottom line is this: have a blast.  College is fantastic.